Saturday, June 16, 2012


Righty oh.
Buckle Up Baby...Here We Go

I've buckled up
and strapped myself in for the ride of my life. I hope.
This little experiment of mine has the potential to be huge in my world. A game changer.
I'm actually quite excited about this little adventure I've just embarked upon.
It's been a long time in the making. 7 years of research.
A lifetime of learning.

I think I have most of the parts in place.
Of course you can never have all your ducks in a row completely, for life is ever changing.  We need to be able to grow and change if we wish to thrive and excel.  I have always been fearful of change. It never sat comfortably with me.  I admire those people immensely who look fear in the face and flip it the middle finger.  Those who embrace change with gusto.

Looking back at a passport photo
from when I was about 5, it is hard to miss the heaviness on those precious little shoulders.  That ain't the picture of a sweet little missy who's dreaming of pink unicorns and fairy floss!  And I am unfortunately still sporting that beautiful set of luggage under my eyes.  Heck, even the smiley face outfit wasn't enough to lift those heavy spirits :-(  Gawd, I just want to reach in there and give her a great big loving hug.

As a person who's spent most of her life
avoiding making mistakes, I sure has hell have made a lot of them!  (Irony must surely be the universe's personal version of a comedy festival).  So, it is now that I find myself having to stop perceiving mistakes as, gulp, wrong; and start seeing them for what they always have been...opportunities for growth, correction and self-development.  It's taken me 4 decades to come to this realisation...some of us are slower learners than others.

So...I've researched and planned like a demon.
I've written a list of all the things that I think could have an improvement on my lifestyle, health (both physical and mental), career, future, general wellbeing and my relationships.  This list initially had over 84 items, but was later condensed to 54 as many of the items were similar.  These 54 items comprise of habits, actions, attitudes, beliefs and nutritional values.  I have decided to call each item a habitude*.

*habitudes. A french word meaning habit. But I personally like that it includes both the words habit and attitude in one statement. The purpose of this whole life-style change is after all to develop new habits along with a new attitude. Love it!

As touched on in my previous blog post,
I have always had some difficulty in sticking with things, as I tend to give up when the going gets tough. Although not an excuse anymore, I know this stems back from my days of being a diplomat brat and moving countries every six months to three years.  I was never really held accountable for anything. If anything was difficult, or confrontation looked to occur, it didn't really matter because before you could blink I had left the country and technically didn't have to deal with it.

I usually start things with great enthusiasm
and a genuine desire to succeed. That is, after I've stopped procrastinating my booty off.  However, perfectionism, self-doubt and fear of failure (or success it appears) is a curse. Instead of hanging in there when the going gets tough, I tend to crumble the minute it looks like things aren't going to plan.  If I couldn't do ALL the parts properly, I would give up feeling like I'd failed.  I think this also has something to do with balance, and the inability to find a happy medium.  I also never really developed those muscles that deal with persistence, commitment, and accountability.  Obviously self-worth and confidence have a lot to do with success, and when you're running in negative figures in that department, it's hard not to understand why things didn't work out so well for me over the years.  So it is with great importance that I've tried to put some contingencies in place to help the process run as smoothly as possible.  Because I am aware there will be hurdles.  Little ones and big ones. It's choosing to look at the hurdles for what they are. Just bumps in the road that require me to stop and confront them. Only then will I be able to run away move forward with renewed learning and development.

I cannot allow myself to give any attention to the fear.  I'm realistic. I know that the fear will be there as I am making changes that will bring with it confrontation as I address varying issues. As author Marianne Williamson says in her book A Course in Weightloss: 21 spiritual lessons for surrendering your weight forever, 'the old self does not go quietly'.  Here, here. I'm a 'make love not war' kind of spirit, but geez I have one hell of a fighting spirit. Just a shame I have been fighting myself all these years. 

I must only picture the outcome that I want.  There are a myriad of books out there on the importance of belief and visualisation to create change. Some of my favourites are Jon Gabriel*, Louise Hay, Wayne Dyer, Esther and Jerry Hicks, The Law of Attraction, The Secret, heck, even actress Tori Spelling's Reiki practitioner believe you must create your own happy ending (I am not ashamed to admit I have read all three of Tori's books - she's actually quite an endearing spirit). You must visualise the end result now in order for it to take effect tomorrow.

* I have included links to all of these wonderful people at the bottom of this post.

To try to overhaul my life in one hit
with these 54 changes would be sheer lunacy.  I've woken up on many occasions trying to change my entire world. It doesn't work. It's too difficult to make that many changes, on so many levels, without expecting 'issues' to arise. These issues need to be dealt with before permanent change can be successful.  It's better to deal with a couple of issues at once, instead of a truck load.  I've also gone the other extreme and tried to change one thing only over a longer period of time. But I get bored, restless and incredibly impatient and then give up because I'm not seeing results quickly enough.   

I noticed about six varying topics/themes
on my list of 54 items.  Many success coaches, particularly Jack Canfield (who I did a wonderful course with in 2008) break these down to seven areas of life.  I simplified it to suit my needs, and noticed my items seem to fill the following six categories.

Diet           (food/drink/vitamins)
Health      (quite a broad view of what makes up good health, encompassing
                   environment, mental and emotional wellbeing, quality of life and
Physical    (Movement)
Spiritual   (Non-tangible assets for the soul, tangible actions to raise the spirit, beliefs,
                   and attitudes)
Beauty      (outward appearance and inner beauty)
Finance/Organisation      (Income, community, personal satisfaction, hobbies, time

I decided to take one 'habitude'
from each of the six areas of my life and focus on it completely for one week.  I have sorted the habitudes into a table starting with what I consider to be the highest priority for my wellbeing.  I may choose to switch things around as I traverse through this experiment, but for now this is my starting point.  (For a complete view of the table, see previous blog post here.)  The idea is to keep the first six after one week, and take on another six in week two.  By week nine, I hope to be 54 habits stronger.

In my next blog
I will delve deeper into each of these six habitudes for week one.  I will share my research in case you wish to learn more about it for yourself.  I will also update you on how I'm cruising (or not) with each habitude.  I have to say, 4 days in, I feel fantastic.  Not sure if this is the bubble of optimism that I sometimes get at the beginning of most new projects, or if just 3 nights of extra sleep can make such a difference. I'm thinking the latter.  Along with the water, meditation, the extra incidental exercise, and profound gratitude.

Must go, only 5 minutes until my bed time :-) 

In closing
I am attaching a link to a fantastic TED lecture (can you call them that?) by Brene Brown. I have only just discovered her (thanks to my fabulous friend Sharon from Heart Space Inspired - definitely worth a visit to her page), and I think Brene is awesome.  This video really touched a nerve with me. I am not only putting myself into a very vulnerable place by blogging about my life, but I have always seen vulnerability as a shameful negative trait. One I have avoided at all costs.  I have hesitated in asking for help, even when I'm drowning in life and having difficulty keeping my head above water.  I've been very proud, and this has caused me to be very defensive and annoying to be around.  I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

Brené Brown

Please explore some of these wonderful pages if you get the chance.


  1. Making the decision to change is the hardest step, just dont be too hard on yourself and make sure you give yourself rewards along the way :) Good luck

  2. You're such a lovely support Michelle. Trying to be kind to myself, and enjoy the journey.

  3. Kylee,
    What a great link to Brene Brown. Vulnerability is such a scary thing. But what she said about being worthy makes so much sense and gives me lots to think about. Thank you for sharing!

  4. You're so welcome. She is wonderful, isn't she? I can thank my wonderful network of people for sharing it with me. I'd never looked at it from that perspective and it certainly has given me a lot to think about too. She has a follow up on shame which was also good.

  5. Good luck with all of this. Diet and Health are always something I strive for and struggle with. But its a life time thing we all have to keep up with.

  6. Absolutely Claire. I take my fairly good health for granted. And I should be grateful that the health scare warnings are at this stage improveable. Although 'traditional' diet methods have a lot to answer for.


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