DEFINITION OF SUCCESS

Hi!!!!!!

Hello. oooo. oooo. (echo echo echo)

Testing, testing, one, two, three.

Hmm, I think I hear crickets.  

Welcome back me. Welcome back you. If you are indeed still there.

I don't doubt every single wonderful one of you is waiting with baited breath by your computer/iPad/iPhone/Notebook/Tablet/Laptop/or whatever freakin' devise one might read a blog from these days, for my next post.

Did I keep you on your toes? Sorry.  I hope you'll feel the wait was worth it.

I don't think any of us expected it to be eight long months before I wrote another blog post.  I actually wasn't planning to take a hiatus. I was actually really enjoying my writing. And I was thankful to have a reader or two.  But I think I frightened myself, and I did what I do did best, and I ran away. FAST. Possibly the fastest I've moved in 8 months!

You see, things were going well-ish.  Well, as well as they can in a life that is not quite lived.  I'd like to say I've been quietly working away at my habitudes and hey presto morphed myself into the 'after' photo.  But I have a pattern of running scared when things are starting to change for the better. Self-sabotage is obviously alive and well and residing in my body (personally I think the self-sabotaging poltergeist/body snatchers have hijacked my real personality and an exorcism will be required STAT).  Trust me, the whole destructive behaviour thing has worn out its welcome and frustrates me more than anyone else.

But, I come back with head held high - as high as it can be for a short person. ;-)   I'm back to TRY AGAIN.  I've heard the definition of success described as falling down 7 times getting up 8 (or in my case falling down 724 times getting up 725!).

I would like to credit my favourite* aunt for supporting my writing again.  Sometimes in our times of need we pull away from those closest to us physically and geographically. I stubbornly We stubbornly believe we have to do it all on our own, without help. Sometimes it's pride, sometimes is shame, sometimes is just embarrassment or weariness that make us seek refuge in another safe place.  So thank you Auntie K for inspiring me to write again.  I think writing for me is the antidote to my deep frustration in life. My magic pill if you will - in a non-drug taking kind of way (don't do drugs kids).  Anywho, I plan to get this little train back on track. I will try to cut the novel length blog posts to little spurts every few days so that I can just feel like I've got someone to talk to (but please feel free to talk back - just press that comment button anytime the need takes you).  

* [air quotes] Technically [air quotes] I am not allowed to have a favourite aunt.  I come from a line of approximately 25 aunts and uncles. All of whom I love.  But...I am blessed to have a special connection with my Auntie K, who is only ten years older than me (but looks much younger).  For some strange reason she and her beautiful husband believe in me. They seem to see me more as the Kylee I want to be, rather than the Kylee I think I am. So, I'm giving this another shot. Thanks Auntie K

I'll take on the habitudes again, because I believe there is actually something very workable in that program for my well-being.  I'm toying with starting with just the one habitude (patience vs workable in action here) I'm going to work out the game plan tomorrow and implement Wednesday. Although I have a lot on my plate at the moment, none of it is more palatable than seeing me succeed in this game called life.

Thanks for listening.  Let's resume regular programming shall we.  I'd love to hear what you've all been up to over the past 8 months (cripes, someone could grow a baby in that time!).  Cheerio boomerang janers. Like a good boomerang, I hope you keep coming back ;-)